A Sacred Pause: Taking a Gap Year for Life, Motherhood & Healing *Updated Version*
+ New Notes series while I take some time off
Hi friends,
I’ve been sitting with this decision for a while now, and it’s finally time to say it out loud:
I’m taking a gap year.
Not from life, but from the pressure to post, perform, or constantly create.
I need space. Real, sacred space, to focus on myself, my healing, and my daughter.
Why I’m Pressing Pause
I never truly took a maternity leave.
Three months postpartum, I was back to working — filming, writing, editing, creating content while still healing, still adjusting, still trying to figure out who I was. I told myself I could handle it. That I should keep showing up. That if I just kept pushing, I’d get “there.”
But I’ve reached a point where pushing no longer feels powerful — it feels like a slow burnout.
Even though I love creating, it’s not necessarily fun right now.
It feels heavy.
Draining.
Like something I have to do just to keep up.
And social media? It’s felt increasingly mindless — like creating into a void. You pour your heart into something, only for it to get buried within hours. Instagram and TikTok move so fast that even your most meaningful work disappears. It’s exhausting.
Worse, this constant cycle has made me neglect the two most important roles in my life:
Being the mother and wife I want to be.
I’ve been stretched thin — physically, mentally, emotionally — trying to contribute financially while also trying to be present, joyful, grounded. And the truth is… I haven’t been.
This next chapter is terrifying in a way I didn’t expect. I’ve never relied financially on my husband. I’ve always made my own money. I’ve always had something to contribute — and now, I don’t. Not in the way I’m used to.
But maybe that’s the point.
Maybe this is my chance to learn to receive.
To slow down.
To soften.
To trust that I’m still valuable even when I’m not producing.
To rebuild my life and creativity from a place of wholeness, not hustle.
Maybe I need a different way of creating.
Creating lightly, when it feels right, and prioritizing presence and healing
What This Means
I’m taking a full gap year to focus on real life — my daughter, my marriage, my healing, and my joy.
I’ll be stepping BACK from Instagram, TikTok, and even Substack for now.
Stepping back doesn’t mean quitting, it means sharing when it feels right. Some months I might feel the need to create and other months I will be creating a lot less and that’s ok. No strategy, no pressure, no content plan.
If I post on short form platforms it will be like once per week or on my own terms. No more strategy or schedules like I used to.
In replace of creating mindlessly everywhere, I’ll still be here in the Notes section sharing my journey and transformation
But I’ll check in here every couple of months with a post — sharing honest updates, reflections, and how I’m slowly getting my pink back 🌸
If I return fully, it will be here, on Substack as well as other short form platforms — intentionally, slowly, and on my own terms AND with more wisdom and impact in the wellness community
My goals moving forward:
I’m on a mission to become a leader in the wellness and lifestyle space. My plan is to get healthier—mind, body, and soul—because that’s what living your Ikigai truly means. Achieving this looks different as a mom, and I’m determined to figure it out.
Once I return, I plan to create a guide that shares my transformation and shows you how you can do it too. Currently I am not there and that is ok. It’s motivation for me to help others. I’ll also bring more impactful, Japanese-inspired content—whether it’s our family travels, the recipes that helped me lose weight (and that we all love), lifestyle upgrades, motherhood musings, or wellness strategies that aren't often talked about in this space.
I’ll be back stronger than ever.
I also plan to study nutrition and finally get certified in life coaching through my dream academy. Before having a baby, this was a big goal of mine—but because I didn’t allow myself time to rest and connect with my baby and with me, I burned out. This is my chance to do it right—and I can’t wait to share it all with you.
If you want to follow along, I’ll be posting updates and reflections in my new Notes series on my own terms because I need to allow a little creativity in my life. In a couple of months, I’ll begin sharing deeper insights and behind-the-scenes looks at what I’m building and creating.
What I’m Choosing Instead
Presence over pressure.
Motherhood over metrics.
Real connection over performance.
Peace over productivity.
A slower, softer life, even if it’s scary.
Even if it means not having all the answers.
A Final Word (for now)
Thank you — deeply — for being part of this journey so far. For your kind comments, quiet support, and genuine encouragement. You’ve helped me feel seen in seasons I couldn’t see myself.
I’m stepping back not to disappear, but to rebuild.
To live, not just post.
To mother from a full heart again.
To rest without guilt.
To become the woman, mother, and creator I know I’m meant to be — slowly, imperfectly, and honestly.
And when I return, I’ll have stories to tell.
I’ll share my transformation, my process, and how I got my pink back.
Until then, I’ll be here — in real life. Living the story instead of rushing to write it.
Yes, this was written by me, not AI, from the heart.
With so much love,
Kelly 🌿